


Morgan Stark

by rainbowshoes



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Reality, Cheating, M/M, Panic, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, baby fever, but not really, in a really weird way, tony loves morgan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 19:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowshoes/pseuds/rainbowshoes
Summary: Tony wakes up and finds himself trapped in another reality that sort of reminds him of the freakin’ Matrix. He’s married to Pepper and has a kid in this universe? What even is this? But it turns out that everything isn’t sunshine and roses in this reality. He still loves Morgan, though, and isn’t that odd? He’d never wanted a kid before...Square(s):R2: Constructed Reality/The FrameworkK2: Isolated or TrappedT3: Morgan StarkT5: James "Bucky" Barnes/The Winter Soldier





	1. R2: Constructed Reality/The Framework

When Tony woke that morning in his bed, he didn’t expect anything to be out of the ordinary. He expected to wake up in Bucky’s arms, like usual, and maybe get a cup of coffee if he asked nicely enough (he always got the coffee, but he always asked nicely anyway). But he didn’t expect not to feel Bucky’s arms around him, to feel just a little bit colder in the sheets than normal. Bucky always woke up before he did, but he’d said so many times that he liked to watch Tony sleep, and that was why he never left the bed until Tony was awake, too. 

“Mm, babe?” Tony mumbled, one hand flopping over the bed, searching for a warm spot or a body or anything. He came up empty. He frowned hard and blinked his eyes open. That was another weird thing. Usually, JARVIS kept the polarization nice and dark until Tony was awake enough to deal with the sunlight. He scrunched his eyes closed and grunted, but he was awake now, so there wasn’t any point in trying to go back to sleep. Maybe Bucky had left to go do something important? He didn’t know, and it didn’t really matter. He’d find Bucky later, he was sure. 

It took a moment, but Tony finally found the will to force himself to sit up in bed. He rubbed his eyes and yawned and scratched at his jaw and stretched and did all those other morning things he usually did. He was just shoving the blankets aside - and when had that been switched from his dark red to this… light blue thing? 

“Oh, look who’s awake!” Tony snapped his head up and looked over at the door. Pepper was standing there, still in her pajamas, and she had a baby in her arms. The kid had to be… not an infant, Tony thought. He didn’t know jackshit about kids. But this one was sitting up on its own and giggling at him, fingers stuck in its mouth. “Let’s go say good morning to Dad, hm?” Pepper pressed a tender kiss to the kid’s forehead and crossed the room with a warm, tender smile on her face. It… it looked like something she did all the time.

But Tony was freaking the fuck out inside. He had no clue what was going on. Where was he? Where was Bucky? Who was this kid, and why was Pepper here? What kind of fucked up hell was this? He really didn’t think it was a good idea to clue Pepper in on the situation, though, so he plastered on his best fake grin and opened his arms. He’d held plenty of kids before. He just didn’t really know anything about them. 

“Hey there,” Tony said, playing up the I’m-talking-to-a-baby tone just a tiny bit. He really hated that tone. He didn’t use it with babies, didn’t use it with dogs - hell, he didn’t use it with his  _ ‘bots _ , and those were more his kids than anything else. But he figured he could pretend. Pepper plopped the baby right into his lap, and Tony’s arms folded around it like it was instinct. Weird. “And how are my best girls this morning?” He really, really hoped he wasn’t fucking up with the gender, but pink pajamas usually meant the kid was a girl, right? 

Pepper sat beside him and turned his head to the side with the tips of her fingers to kiss him. God, that felt weird. He shuddered internally. It felt - wrong. He was with  _ Bucky _ now. He and Pepper broke up years ago! This was bizarre and Tony had no idea how to play off being affectionate with Pepper, not without her figuring out that something was up. She was smart like that. He hadn’t liked her just for her looks, after all. And a pissed Pepper was a ruthless Pepper. She’d get the answers out of him one way or another. 

What the hell was going  _ on _ , though? Had Tony slipped through the fucking Matrix or something and wound up in some constructed reality designed specifically for a totally different version of himself? This was fucked up beyond reason, and Tony just didn’t know how to handle it. 

But the little girl in his arms demanded his attention, then, and Pepper smiled and laughed when she smeared her baby-goo-spit all over Tony’s cheek. At least Pepper didn’t think it was weird that he’d made a face at that. He gently tugged the baby’s hand away from his face and used the corner of a sheet to wipe her hand off, then playfully pretended to gnaw on her fist himself, making her squeal with delight. 

“Morgan and I just finished breakfast,” Pepper said, relaxing a little more comfortably against his side. “We thought we’d let you sleep in this morning since you were in the ‘shop so late. Did you get everything finished?”

“‘Fraid not,” Tony said with a grimace, and it didn’t take much acting to play that up. He would fucking  _ love _ the chance to escape to his ‘shop right now. Surely that couldn’t be much different, right? 

“FRIDAY, what all does Tony have on his schedule for today?” Pepper asked, pressing a quick kiss to Tony’s bare shoulder before standing and making her way toward the closet. 

“Boss has to finish up his project from last night, then ‘e’s got a meetin’ at two with R n’ D.” The voice overhead was decidedly  _ not _ JARVIS. And had Pepper said  _ FRIDAY _ ? FRIDAY was JARVIS’ sister code, the one he’d designed as a back-up for if the unthinkable happened and JARVIS was lost to him. He’d planned on finding a use for FRIDAY in some other way, but all the tasks he’d thought up so far were too simple, and he wouldn’t be responsible for letting one of his precious AIs get bored. 

Pepper came out of the closet with one of her suits and Tony knew, somehow, seeing that, that he was well and truly fucked. He and Pepper weren’t just casually sleeping together or even lovers like they had been when they’d been together before. They were living together. And that meant this little girl on his lap, currently gumming her way through Tony’s finger (and when the fuck had she gotten that?) was their  _ child _ . 

What the fuck.

“You’ll have to watch Morgan until I leave,” Pepper said, hanging her suit on the rack on the closet door so she had free and easy access to it when she got out of the shower. “I just changed her, so she should be fine until then.” 

Tony grinned and nodded and stood, hoisting Morgan up in his arms and blowing a raspberry on her belly. “I’m sure we can entertain ourselves, Pep. Go on.” He stopped by her side before he left the room, knowing she’ll expect him too, and he felt so damn guilty for leaning in to accept her kiss. Maybe Bucky would forgive him when he told him all about this later. 

Assuming Tony was able to find his way back to his own reality. But he really wasn't thinking about that right now. 

He carried Morgan into the living area, and he was pleased to find plenty of baby shit already spread out around the place. It wasn't messy, but it was easily accessible. He was grateful as he grabbed a blanket and spread it out on the floor in front of the couch. He sat on the floor and lowered Morgan to her belly on the blanket, figuring that was probably the safest place for a kid her age and size. He doubted she could really get too far or do too much damage at this age. Right? Probably only to herself, anyway. 

He grabbed a spare tablet and he was quick to check the date. It was correct, at least - it was the day he expected it to be. He did a quick search and found some really fucking concerning articles about the Avengers and the state of the world, but he tried not to pay too much attention to all that right now. He would have time for that when he got down to his ‘shop. Surely he didn’t go to bed late if he hadn’t actually finished whatever it was he was supposedly working on. He knew himself too well for that. He’d either stop working at the right time and leave it for the next day or work straight through until he finished. Those really were his only two methods. 

Bucky was usually smart enough to know, and he’d drag Tony out of the ‘shop kicking and screaming if necessary. Though it wasn’t ever necessary. All Bucky ever had to do was show up and mention sex, and Tony typically dropped whatever he was working on in a heartbeat. 

He didn’t think the other Tony had Extremis in this universe. He thought about that, sitting on the floor for over an hour and sort of playing with Morgan as she tried to shove various toys in her mouth. Every now and again, she’d do something that was actually pretty smart with them, but her attention span was limited and she was - as Tony had discovered from a quick search - only about a year old. So, that was understandable. It wasn’t like he expected anything more out of her than screaming and pooping, anyway. That was just what babies  _ did _ . 

When Pepper finally appeared in the doorway, about halfway through her routine of getting ready for her day, she asked Tony if he could dress Morgan for her. And buddy, wasn’t that an adventure and a fucking half. Morgan’s room was, thankfully, not some godawful pink monstrosity of a thing. It was green and painted with pretty murals of grass and flowers and animals. He pointed to the colors and the animals and the flowers and named everything for her, first in the name she could probably pronounce someday pretty soon, and then with the scientific name because - well, it was him. Why the fuck wouldn’t he? He managed to get her dressed with FRIDAY’s help, and he wasn’t ashamed in the least to admit he needed it. Morgan had more clothes and shoes than  _ he _ did. It was sort of funny, in a way. 

When they were done, he toted her back out to the living room, humming “War Pigs” softly. It was stuck in his head, sue him. It wasn’t like he knew any baby-friendly songs, anyway. Okay, so, he probably did, but he wasn’t going to try and search his library of a brain for them right now. It was easier to catch whatever song he had in his head at the moment and just sing that one. So, “War Pigs” it was. Morgan didn’t seem to mind, anyway. She waved her little plastic donut ring around excitedly, even threw it when he got to the chorus. He just laughed at her and went to grab it and give it back. 

He caught Pepper watching him from the door to his - well,  _ their  _ \- bedroom, a small, warm smile on her face. “What?” he asked, just a touch defensive.

“You just… you seem really happy today, Tony,” she said softly. “I’m glad it’s a good day. You think you might reconsider coming with me and Morgan to the park today, after all?” She said it gently, like she wasn’t expecting him to change his mind, like she wasn’t asking him for anything more than what he was perfectly willing to give. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, smiling a bit and looking at Morgan. She whacked him with the donut ring and he growled playfully at her while tickling her sides. “I think I might.” He looked back at Pepper, and he was seriously concerned that she looked close to tears right now. What the fuck was his  _ problem _ in this universe? 

“Okay,” she said decisively, as if she weren’t about to have a small meltdown. She walked over and took Morgan from his arms and kissed her forehead. “Just text me if you change your mind. Otherwise, we’ll wait for you in the lobby at four.” 

“Okay,” Tony said, not willing to make any promises. He sort of hoped he could solve the problem of why he was here and how to get back before then, honestly, because he missed Bucky, but… Well. Morgan was his kid. And even if he didn’t love Pepper like that anymore, he did still love her. Seeing her happy was important to him. He’d still work to find a solution, but maybe he’d wait until after this little playdate to implement it, if he found it that fast. It couldn’t hurt, right?


	2. K2: Isolated or Trapped

Down in the workshop, Tony discovered that most things were not at all the way he expected them to be. This ‘shop was dark and fucking depressing. It wasn’t anything like  _ his _ ‘shop. He had FRIDAY get the lights a little brighter and he put Dum-E and Butterfingers to work cleaning out some of the clutter. His other self could kiss his ass. This place was a wreck. That handled, he stopped at his bank of screens and brought up several articles about the Avengers and major world events, starting from 2012, when the Chitauri first attacked. 

It looked like pretty much everything was the same as his world at that point. No major differences he could find. He skipped ahead a few months at the time until he got to the events in D.C. that signaled Bucky’s time as The Winter Soldier under Pierce’s not-so-tender care. That, it seemed, was where everything in this universe had deviated. Tony hadn’t been called in to assist, Fury had “died” - Tony didn’t believe Fury was actually dead for a single fucking second - and Steve faced Bucky by himself on the helicarrier. Natasha released a huge data dump of information about SHIELD and HYDRA onto the internet - the dumbass. This universe’s Natasha clearly wasn’t as intelligent as his. Couldn’t be, to do something that fucking stupid.

And then ULTRON. Tony was a fucking mess by the time he finished reading about that. No wonder JARVIS wasn’t around anymore. He’d been ripped to shreds by Loki’s glowstick of destiny and then turned into a ‘bot with a body. Tony knew he was oversimplifying things, but he didn’t care right now. 

Reading about the events of the media-dubbed superhero “civil war” was enough to send Tony over to the ratty couch in the corner of the lab, shaking and swearing. Cap and Bucky had done that to him? Had beaten him senseless and left him to die in Siberia? How - no,  _ why _ ? He didn't understand how things in this universe could be so similar and yet so different. He wanted - needed - Bucky here with him, but he didn't have him. And that might have been the worst part of the entire situation right now. 

Moving to the events beyond the Civil War was even harder. Watching himself pretend - and know he was pretending - to be okay hurt badly. He watched himself interact with Peter, cold and aloof and distant and yet  _ yearning  _ for more. He watched the way he and Pepper danced around each other. He watched them finally get back together and agree to get married. 

He watched himself fight Thanos. He watched, from the other side of things, what happened to the planet as half the population turned to dust from a single snap. 

His universe still had time to prepare for the war against Thanos. They knew he was coming, and they were getting ready in all the ways they could. Seeing what he was seeing now, he doubted they would ever be ‘ready’ for someone like Thanos, but they were going to try. And he was going to go back to his universe with ideas and plans. 

For now, he was trapped. He was stuck in this universe and he had no way of getting back, not right now. FRIDAY had caught on that he wasn't  _ her  _ Tony almost immediately. He explained the situation as well as he could, but he didn't know what to do to get back to his own reality. FRIDAY was trying to compile a list of possible solutions for him, but it was slow going. He helped where he could, but he was also still struggling to wrap his mind around everything that was different here.

This Tony had severe PTSD, worse than his by far. He was little better than a recluse, and after seeing some videos of the way he often interacted with Pepper and Morgan, Pepper's reaction this morning no longer surprised him. He could see the fear in every line of his other self. He knew and understood that this reality's Tony was terrified of hurting them, and so he distanced himself from them.

And that wasn't okay. He called U over. “FRIDAY, make sure the other me sees this as soon as he gets back, okay?”

“You got it, boss,” she chirped back. 

Tony took a deep breath and looked at U's camera. “Listen up, buddy. I have a bone to pick with you. You have a fucking beautiful life here. Pepper is your  _ wife _ , you dumbass! You have a daughter! I loved Pepper, back when I was with her. We didn't work out on my side of the fence, but you  _ did _ . Stop trying to run away from her. She has Extremis. She won't get hurt that easily. And Morgan has her, and Happy, and FRIDAY, and Rhodey, and so many others there to protect her, too. Spend some time with her and stop worrying about hurting her. You won't, not like that. But you  _ will  _ hurt her if you keep avoiding her. So man up, Stark. You have a new job now, and it's called being a father and a husband. Get off your ass and get to work.” 

He gestured to U and the red light blinked off. He took a deep breath and ran his shaking fingers through his hair. One thing was for certain. If the Tony from this reality was stuck where  _ he _ belonged, he was having a tough damn time of things. Being that isolated and feeling so alone was already starting to eat at Tony, and he was here with a Pepper who loved him and he had a  _ daughter _ . Wasn't that wild? The other Tony…

The other Tony had Bucky. Who he was probably still angry with and terrified of for the part he'd played in that fiasco in Siberia. And Tony knew all about Bucky killing his parents. It took a damn long time for him to come to terms with it and to forgive Bucky for it, even though he knew Bucky didn't have any control over his actions. That was part of the reason they'd only been together for a couple of years. But Tony  _ had  _ forgiven him, and they'd found out they weren't so different at all. Their relationship was special, amazing, and Tony treasured every moment of it. 

He missed Bucky fiercely. 

He hated being trapped here.


	3. T3: Morgan Stark

Meeting with R&D in this reality was just as non-productive as it was in his, so really, nothing got done, and Tony had a whole list of crap he'd have to finagle to work later. Or, other Tony would. He had a list, courtesy of FRIDAY. 

Tony went back up to the penthouse, dressed down for his afternoon with Pepper and Morgan, and got together a bag at FRIDAY's suggestion. It was getting close to four when Pepper sent him a text that mentioned something about a merger (read: takeover) and how she wouldn't be able to go to the park today. Tony had sent her something back telling her not to worry about it, that he and Morgan would be fine on their own. 

Pepper had called, immediately. “Tony, are you sure?” she asked, just as gentle as she'd asked earlier. There was no expectation in her tone, not even hopefulness. Tony cursed his other self again. 

“Yeah, Pep, don't worry about it. I'll take Morgan. Happy will be there, too, so it'll be fine.” He tried not to inject any false cheer into his voice. He didn't want to lie to Pepper, but he also couldn't keep pretending to be someone he wasn't - and he wasn't the Tony she married. If he still hadn't solved the problem of figuring out how to get back to his own universe by tomorrow, he'd have to break down and tell her. He didn't have any other choice.

Pepper was quiet for a moment, then she sighed. “I don't understand what's going on with you today, but okay. If you want to take Morgan to the park, I certainly won't stop you. I hope the two of you have fun, okay?” 

“We will, Pep. I'll take lots of pictures for you, okay?” Tony smiled a bit as he stuffed a cup full of juice into the bag hanging from his shoulder. It was a soft, mint green color, with a tiny dinosaur on the side. It was cute. 

“Okay,” Pepper said, still a little sad-sounding. “I should be finished with this before dinner, at least. I hope.”

“Don't work too hard,” Tony said, heading for the elevator. “And if you can't make it, let me know. I'll bring Morgan to your office and we'll eat there when you have a minute.” 

“Thank you, Tony,” Pepper whispered. And fuck, but she sounded close to tears again. 

“Sure thing,” Tony said, trying to bury how uncomfortable that made him feel. “But, uh, hey, I'm swinging by the daycare to get Morgan. Talk later?” He got a brief okay from Pepper and immediately ended the call. He wasn't even to the right floor yet. He sighed heavily and leaned against the wall. God, he hated this. 

Morgan was happy enough to see him, though, even if the people running the daycare seemed shocked as shit to see him there. He thanked them for watching her all day, scooped her into his arms, and all but fled. He had FRIDAY get Happy and the car ready to go, so by the time they stopped in the garage, all he had to do was put Morgan in her carseat. And that was an experience. Tony had no idea baby seats were so complex. He managed, though, and Happy drove them to a park that wasn't too far away. Tony was just glad it was right at the end of summer. It wasn't too hot out, but Morgan definitely didn't need a jacket, either. 

Happy, at least, had the decency not to comment on Tony's apparently bizarre behavior. He did, however, give Tony a strangely approving nod. Tony figured that was appropriate, though. In  _ his  _ reality, Happy and Pepper were married and living out in California. 

Once at the park, Tony found a nice quieter spot for them. Happy helped him spread the blanket he'd brought on the ground for Morgan, and Tony sat with her, playing with her toys with her and generally keeping her entertained while she got the chance to soak up some vitamin D. Happy kept most people away from them, standing just a couple feet away with his shades on like a wanna-be secret service agent. Tony privately found that hilarious. Until Happy tried to chase of a couple of paps, yelling and screaming at them and upsetting Morgan. 

Tony scooped her into his arms and stood her up on his lap. “Hey, hey, baby girl,” Tony said, grinning brightly. “It's okay. Happy's just being Happy. He keeps all the bad guys away, right?” Morgan gummed at her fist for a moment, then babbled something at him. “Yeah, that's right. You tell him. Happy, be happy.” She giggled and bounced, trying to jump up and down though she didn't have the strength or the coordination, just the ability to bend her knees. “Happy, be happy!” He said again since she seemed to get such a kick out of it. He laughed with her and didn't even care that Happy had boldly just taken a picture  _ himself _ . 

“Hap!” Morgan shouted, waving her little donut ring wildly through the air. “Hap! Hap!” 

Tony gaped at her, his mouth dropping open. He looked over at Happy and found the same flabbergasted expression. He looked back at Morgan and smiled, forcing it to go a bit bigger than he really wanted it to. He knew,  _ knew _ , this wasn't technically his kid. It was the other Tony's kid. But she'd said Happy's name first, not his. And that hurt. It also said a fucking lot about the other Tony. 

“That's right, baby girl!” Tony said brightly. “Happy!” He laughed, a little wetly, and he wasn't ashamed in the least that he was overwhelmed. He hadn't thought having a kid was something even remotely within the realm of possibility for someone like him, but seeing Morgan, playing with her? God, even when he went back to his own reality, when he broke out of this stupid matrix shit, he was going to miss her. 

“Say it again, huh?” he asked, aware that Happy was recording now. “Happy?” 

“Hap!” Morgan shrieked. Tony laughed and nodded and blew a raspberry against her belly. 

“Such a smart girl!” he praised. Howard had never once praised him for anything in his life, not that he could remember and not that anyone had ever been able to tell her. He was damned determined to leave behind some proof that he  _ had _ . Even if he wasn't really Morgan's father. She wacked him with the donut ring and he playfully pretended to gnaw at it until she snatched it away. “Dad can't play, huh? That's okay, I shouldn't ruin my dinner, should I?” 

“Hap!” Morgan said again. 

Happy lowered his phone and kneeled right there in the grass beside them. “Who's Hap?” he asked. 

Morgan - the brat, Tony thought with infinite fondness - rolled her big beautiful brown eyes and waved her donut ring over at Happy. “Hap, Hap! Hap.” She threw it at his chest, and Happy didn't even get mad about the baby drool staining his blazer. He just teared up like the giant sap he was. 

“That's right,” Tony said, bouncing her and still smiling. “That's Happy. Know who I am?” he asked. She babbled some kind of nonsense, but Tony nodded very seriously anyway. “I'm gonna play translator, and you said I was the smartest dad in the whole wide world. Right?” 

“Hap!” Morgan giggled. 

“I was totally right,” Tony said, giving Happy a smug look.

Happy sniffed, then rolled his eyes as he climbed to his feet. “You wish, boss. More like she called you a damn fool and a terrible influence.” 

“Also true,” Tony said with a shrug. He looked at Morgan. “But we don't say curse words until we're at least six, right? Gotta make sure we scare all the teachers.” 

“Hap!” Morgan screeched. 

“Pretty sure that meant Pepper will kill you if she hears you telling her that,” Happy said with a snort. 

“Probably,” Tony said cheerfully. He leaned in close to Morgan and it was weird, how he liked the way she smelled like lavender and  _ baby _ . “Don't tell Mom, okay? Our secret.” 

Morgan patted his cheek and told him something else very serious. 

“Exactly,” Tony nodded. “She's going to have  _ two  _ geniuses to coral to dinner every night, we can't make it any harder on her.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to Morgan's forehead. 

It was weird. He'd felt  _ wrong _ with Pepper, but holding Morgan feels right in a lot of ways, like he's been waiting on this. He has no idea why. He holds her close to his chest for a moment and just breathes in her smell, memorizes the way she feels in his arms. He will miss her so much when he goes back. He just wishes Bucky could be right here beside him to experience this, too. 

Tony hears his phone ding just as Morgan begins to squirm. He grins at her and puts her on the blanket on her belly, then finds her donut ring for her and gives it back. He grabs his phone and realizes it's already after five. He had no idea they'd spent so long here already. Pepper had sent him a message saying she couldn't make it back for dinner, but she'd have a few minutes to sit and eat while she worked, if Tony still wanted to bring Morgan by her office. Tony says he'll bring dinner, too, and orders what he knows is still her favorite from her favorite restaurant. 

“Gotta make a delivery run, Hap,” Tony says, slowly making his way to a crouch. He scoops Morgan into his arms and drops her few toys into her bag. Happy grabs the blanket from the ground and shakes it out before folding it and tucking it under his arm. 

“Where to, boss?”

“Pep’s favorite place,” he says with a small smile. “We're going to take her dinner, and you're going to send me that video so I can show it to her.”

Happy just laughed. 

By the time they got back to the tower and up to Pepper's office, it was a little after six. Tony walked in first with a freshly changed Morgan on his hip - another experience he won't ever forget, changing a damn diaper - and Happy following behind with the food. Pepper looked shocked as shit, but also pleased. She took Morgan into her arms and spent several moments just doting on her and loving her while Tony took the food from Happy and got their dinner set up at the table off to the side. Happy stepped out of the office with a small smile on his face and left them in peace. 

“You're not my Tony, are you?” Pepper asked, coming over to the table to sit down. Tony froze, but she just smiled and shook her head. “I knew you looked a little different this morning, but I thought it was just me. Now I know for sure. And the way you've been with Morgan today?” She takes a breadstick and breaks a piece off for Morgan to gum to death before taking a bite herself. “So. Are you going to explain?”

Tony blew out a deep breath and finished setting out the food first, then he sat across from her. “I'm still Tony.”

She gave him a smile. “You certainly aren't anyone else.”

Tony stuck his tongue out at her, feeling a little childish. “I'm not  _ your _ Tony, though, no. I'm -” he hesitated over his wording. “I'm pretty sure I'm from a different reality. Multiverse theory type thing. That's all I've got to go on right now.”

“When did you figure it out?” Pepper asked. 

“First thing this morning,” he admitted, looking down at his plate. “In my universe, reality,  _ matrix _ , whatever. In mine - I'm not with you. You're married to Happy.”

She made a surprised noise. “Then who are you with?” 

“You have to understand,” Tony said, still not meeting her eye. “My universe is different. There's some point in time, some major divergence, where things went differently compared to here. There was no ULTRON, no Civil War, no Thanos. None of that happened in my reality.” He took a deep breath and finally looked up at her, offered her a tender smile. “I'm with Bucky Barnes.” Her eyes go wide. “It's been about two years. A little more.” 

“Barnes?” she asked, incredulous. “The - the man who killed your parents?”

He nods. “I know. I've known for  _ years _ . That's one of the big differences. I've known about that since he attacked Steve in D.C. It took a long time - and I mean a  _ long time _ to get over that. But Bucky literally didn't have control over his actions. None. HYDRA wiped his mind and used code words against him, like Pavlov's bell. When he heard those words, he had to obey. He didn't get any choice. But he broke through that conditioning, once. For me. And, well. We began to move past things after that point. It still took a lot of time, but we're happy now.”

She took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You look happy, but you look like you miss him, too.”

“Hap!” Morgan said cheerfully. Pepper jerked in surprise and looked at her daughter with wide eyes. 

“Oh, yeah. That's sort of her first word? I guess? She started saying it at the park. Happy got it on video. He sent it to me. FRIDAY?” 

“In a jiffy, boss!” FRIDAY opened a projector on the wall beside them and played the video from Tony's phone. Pepper teared up watching it, holding Morgan close and kissing her strawberry blonde hair over and over. 

“Oh my god,” Pepper said, nearly all-out crying by the time the video ended. “She knows Happy's name!”

“She's such a smart girl,” Tony agreed, weirdly proud even though she wasn't his daughter. He picked at his food and finally took a bite. “I don't know how to get back to my reality or how to get your Tony back to you, but I  _ am  _ working on it.”

“I knew you would be,” Pepper said with a small smile. She carefully wiped at her eyes and then dug into her own food. “Thank you for spending so much time with Morgan today, even though you didn't have to. It… it means a lot.”

Tony shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was pretending to be the other Tony, sort of, and he'd been pretending Morgan was his daughter. It was hard for him not to love her, though. He was pretty sure he already did, and it hadn't even been an entire day. 

So, like usual when he felt uncomfortable, he made a joke. “Well, now I have baby fever and I'm going to blame all of it on you and Morgan. It's not like Bucky can have kids, but I'll think of a way.” He forced a laugh, but Pepper only smiled. 

“You have kids already, Tony,” she said, like he was just a little bit stupid. “Dum-e, Butterfingers, U, and FRIDAY are your children, too.” 

“Pretty big difference between a few clumsy metal claws running around and a soft, squishy, baby human,” Tony pointed out. Pepper just shrugged, like that didn't matter in the slightest, and Tony felt his breath catch in his chest. He did still love her, yes, but just as one of his best friends in the entire world. He didn't love her like her Tony probably loved her, like his Happy loved her. But that was okay, he didn't need to. 

“Blame me all you like,” Pepper said, a tad smug. “And I'll laugh from all the way over here when you finally realize how to get what you want.” 

“How’s that, oh Pepper, my Pepper?” he asked, snarking more than a little.

“You're a genius, figure it out,” she laughed. 

Their dinner was nicer after that, lighter and full of very old jokes they'd once shared in both their realities. Tony enjoyed himself, though he kept finding himself glancing around, wondering when Bucky was going to come back. But Bucky wasn't coming back, not in this reality. Tony missed him with a deep and fierce ache. 

After dinner, Tony took Morgan back up to the penthouse and he managed to give her a bath all on his own - though, to be fair, FRIDAY helped. Her ability to give instructions could definitely use some work, but Tony had a good time learning, and Morgan certainly seemed to enjoy herself as she colored all over the tub walls with special crayons. 

After pajamas and the lavender lotion, Tony found Morgan's special stuffed rabbit, the one she loved best according to FRIDAY, and they sat on the couch together. Tony read a book to her and let her poke at the tablet to make the pictures bigger when she felt like it. Morgan was a little fussy after that, but Tony got her some warm milk in a sippy cup and she dropped right off to sleep after it. He couldn't quite bear to put her in her crib, though, so he just sat on the couch with her sleeping on his chest. Pepper woke him up later, and he was forced to surrender Morgan to her crib when it was time for the two of them to sleep, too. 

“Are you sure you want to sleep with me?” Pepper asked, teasing him as she sat on the bed, rubbing in her expensive hand cream. 

“Why, Miss Potts,” Tony fake gasped. “A lady of your caliber, married, and sleeping with a man who isn't your husband?”

“That's  _ Misses Stark  _ now, thank you very much,” she retorted, nose in the air. She managed to hold the expression for all of two seconds before breaking and giggling. “Come to bed, Tony. It doesn't feel right to sleep without you here, and where else are you going to sleep, the couch? I doubt it.”

“Nah,” Tony said, flopping into the bed. “I'm definitely more comfortable here.” He smiled up at her for a moment. “I miss Bucky like you wouldn't believe, but I'm glad I got to spend that time with Morgan, too. And you. I've missed getting to spend time with you.”

Pepper smiled softly. “I'm sure  _ your  _ Pepper would like to spend time with you, too. And you'll get back to your Bucky. I just have a feeling.”

Tony hummed, but he didn't disagree. Pepper curled up under the covers beside him, and reached out to squeeze his hand briefly. He squeezed back, then curled up on the other side of the bed. He was exhausted, and sleep took him pretty quickly.

* * *

 

When Tony woke up, he was alone. The room was dark, and the blanket was red - like it was  _ supposed to be _ . His heart seized in his chest, painful and tight, and it took him a moment to figure out how to breathe again. 

“JARVIS, where's Bucky?” Tony asked immediately. “It's  - it's me again. I'm back.” 

“Welcome back, sir,” JARVIS said warmly. “Sergeant Barnes is in the living room, sir. He has your coffee ready and waiting for you.” 

“Oh thank fuck,” Tony gasped. He threw the blankets away and  _ ran _ . Bucky shoved the mug onto the counter when he saw Tony, and he opened his arms for Tony's hug-turned-tackle. Tony squeezed him hard, then kissed him desperately. “Oh my god, I missed you.”

“It's only been a day,” Bucky said, chuckling just a little. “But I missed you, too,” he admitted quietly. Tony kissed him again, and Bucky fell with him onto the couch. 

Bucky then jerked back and looked at him, confusion blooming on his face. “Why do you smell like a baby?”

Tony just laughed, a little helplessly, and drew Bucky in for another kiss. Later. There would be time for explanations  _ later _ .


	4. T5: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Companion piece featuring MCU!Tony going to Happy!Tony's universe
> 
> I got this comment and it inspired me to write this continuation.
> 
> Raskel:  
> This was amazing! Did MCU Tony end up in Happy Tony's world? Man, Bucky and the good team must have been devastated by his reaction to them. I'd legitimately pay ten dollars for a blurb.   
> But. Tony having a panic attack waking somewhere new. And his dead child trying to calm him. And one of the team that betrayed him or Bucky himself coming to help and driving his panic higer. They'd have to fetch Rhodey or a bot, wouldn't they. Poor, poor Tony.
> 
> special thanks to @fey_relay for helping so much when I was stuck!!!

 

Tony knew something was wrong the very second he woke. 

It was still dark, for one, and these weren't the sheets Pepper liked. These were… sateen? Maybe? Whatever they were, they were not his sheets. They weren't the ones Pepper liked. 

And where was Pep, anyway? She usually didn't let him sleep in, much. She worked like a regular person, and someone had to watch Morgan while she was getting ready for the day. That usually fell to Tony. He'd get Morgan some breakfast and they'd eat and Morgan would play for a bit until Pepper was ready for her day, and then Pepper would take her down to the daycare center. 

But when Tony opened his eyes, there was no Pepper. No Morgan, either. And the room was still dark, which was just weird. They didn't keep it dark in the room. Tony was a little weird about the dark, and they both liked the glow from New York down below so they could see their way through the room to get to Morgan if she woke in the middle of the night. 

Tony rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling. “FRIDAY, where's Pepper and Morgan?” 

“Forgive me, sir, but FRIDAY has not been online since you coded her.”

Whatever else was said, Tony didn't hear it. He was too caught up in an onslaught of memory. That was  _ JARVIS _ . 

“J?” Tony whispered, sitting straight up in the bed, his hands clenching the sheets. “Buddy, is that - is that really you?” He didn't dare ask how. Not yet.

“Of course, sir,” JARVIS replied, just a bit slower than he should have, a clear note of confusion in his tone. “Perhaps I should summon Sergeant Barnes if you aren't feeling well.” 

Tony froze. His insides turned to ice. “Barnes?” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “No!” He shouted, launching himself out of the bed. 

Too late. The bedroom door was already opening. And there was fucking Barnes. Dressed in loose sleep pants, no shirt, metal arm on full display. Tony felt his heart beat wildly. JARVIS might have said something about it, but Tony was frozen to the spot.

He hadn't seen Barnes, not in person, since their fight in Siberia. He hadn't wanted to see him. Hadn't wanted anything to do with the man. He'd known full well he was in Wakanda ‘recovering’ for whatever that was worth, but he hadn't cared, so long as he'd fucking stayed there. 

Looked like he hadn't. 

“What the fuck are you doing in my tower?” Tony asked, voice low and threatening. 

Barnes immediately put his hands up in a surrendering gesture, but it didn't placate Tony, not for an instant. He knew better. Armed or not, Barnes was a goddamn assassin, one of the most ruthless assassins on the fucking planet. And like hell was Tony letting the man come anywhere near him.

“Tony -” Barnes tried.

Tony made a cutting gesture with his hand to silence him. “Where is Pepper?” he demanded. “And where the fuck is my daughter?” 

Barnes’ eyes went wide. “Ah,” he hesitated. “Pepper is in Malibu. With Happy. And… Tony, you don't - you don't have a daughter.” He didn't try to come further into the room, thankfully, but Tony was still wary, still didn't trust him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Tony snapped. “Of course I have a daughter. She just turned a year old two months ago.”

“JARVIS, call Rhodes,” Barnes said, his face going scarily blank. “Call - call Peter, too. They're friendlies, right?” Barnes asked Tony directly. 

“Rhodey's in a goddamn wheelchair upstate,” Tony snapped. “And the kid should be  _ in school _ . What the hell are you going on about? And again, why the  _ fuck  _ are you in my tower?” 

“Sir, please take a deep breath. You are showing signs of an anxiety attack.” No fucking shit, Tony wanted to scream. He was shaking, he could feel it. He didn't understand what was going on. 

Was this hell?

He hadn't believed in anything like that for the majority of his life. 

“Look, I'm gonna go, okay?” Barnes said slowly, taking a step back through the open door. “Peter is here at the tower. And he'll be up here in just a second. Rhodes is - he isn't far, I don't think.” 

“Get out,” Tony muttered, the fight draining out of him. He was too old for this shit - too tired. Barnes just nodded and closed the door as he stepped back again. Tony fell onto the bed heavily as soon as he was alone. “JARVIS?” 

“Yes, sir?” JARVIS asked, a little quieter than usual. 

“What the hell is going on?”

“I cannot be sure, not immediately,” JARVIS answered. “Young Mister Parker will be here shortly, though. Perhaps he can help you make sense of things.” 

“But you - ULTRON destroyed you,” Tony whispered, closing his eyes against the onslaught of memory. “And then we made you into Vision. And… and Barnes and Rogers…” He took a deep breath. “We fought in Siberia. Because of Zemo and the damn tape of Barnes killing my mom.”

JARVIS was quiet for a long moment. That was unusual, Tony knew. He only had his memory to go on, but well. What good was an eidetic memory if he couldn't remember JARVIS anyway? 

“Sir, I have no record of any of those events in my databanks,” JARVIS said quietly. 

Tony went very still. That wasn't possible. It just  _ wasn't _ . He looked across the room at the dresser - the furniture wasn't even the same, here. There were framed pictures scattered across the top, several of a… younger-looking version of himself and Bucky. A few of himself and Rogers and Romanov. One of the entire team of Avengers - with a few faces he didn't immediately recognize. 

“What about D.C., then?” Tony asked quietly. “When Barnes first showed up on the radar, what happened?” 

Screens with articles and videos appeared across the still-dark glass windows. Tony stood slowly and walked over to them, taking in the information rapidly. These news articles showed Iron Man coming to help Rogers fight Barnes on the bridge in downtown D.C. The helicarriers never launched. There was no data dump. 

Things had happened so differently. This was some sort of alternate universe or dimension or some shit - one of the multiverses Strange was always going on about. 

Tony flinched when there was a soft knock on the door. He turned to face it, his back tense. “It is Young Mister Parker, sir,” JARVIS provided helpfully. 

“Come in, kid,” Tony said, feeling every second of his age and more. 

The door opened slowly and Peter poked his head through the gap. “Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter said slowly. He inched his way into the room. “Are you, um. Are you okay?” 

“I do not believe this Tony Stark is the Tony Stark we know,” JARVIS said. “He does not have Extremis.” 

Tony flinched in surprise and did something he rarely ever did - he turned and looked directly at one of JARVIS’ cameras. “What?” 

He'd held off on Extremis for years. He was still fully human. He hadn't been willing to give up that part of himself, not yet, not until the last moment. He knew he didn't have long - his heart had only a couple years left, really. But he didn't want to be inhuman. 

“The Tony Stark of this universe has had Extremis for about two years now,” JARVIS said. 

Peter hummed and nodded. “Yeah, I can see it now. JARVIS, will you let Bucky know? He was really upset.” 

“Of course,” JARVIS said. 

“Why the hell would you tell  _ him _ anything?” Tony asked, unable to keep the snarl out of his voice. 

“Because you guys are together here?” Peter asked, looking surprised. “I mean. It's been like, two years. Maybe more? I'm not really sure on the timeline. But yeah. We've all totally got bets going for when he's gonna ask you - well, I guess the  _ other  _ you - to marry him.” 

Tony choked. “What the fuck?” He was shaking again. “Why the fuck would I ever marry that son of a bitch? He killed my  _ mom _ !”

Peter frowned. “Yeah, but… Mister Rogers told you - the  _ other  _ you, damn - about that when he figured it out. You've known for like, ever. And you didn't like Bucky at first, but you knew it wasn't really his fault. I mean… he didn't have any choice. And it still messes with him, you know? He still feels really guilty about it.” Peter suddenly looked bashful. “I probably shouldn't say all that, huh?”

“In this case, I believe it is for the best,” JARVIS said softly. “I don't think Sergeant Barnes will begrudge you this sharing of information, Young Mister Parker.”

Peter gave a sheepish smile to the air, then focused on Tony once more. “Seriously, though? Bucky isn't a bad guy. Not… not here, okay? I don't know about wherever you came from, but here he's pretty great. He helps train me to fight, and he even helps me with my history homework.” 

Tony didn't know how to respond to any of this. Honestly. He didn't want to be here, anyway. He wanted to go back home, to get back to Pepper and Morgan and FRIDAY. He had his own damn life, thank you very much, and he was happy with it. As much as he could be happy, anyway.

It seemed like the Tony in this universe was probably a lot happier. Tony could admit to a little jealousy, but hey. It didn't seem like the Tony that belonged here had been through a lot of the same shit he had. 

“Sirs, Colonel Rhodes is at the door, as well,” JARVIS said. “He would like to know if he may enter.” 

“Yeah, J, get the door for him, will ya?” Tony asked, half lost in his own head as he stared at the articles before him. This was so… odd. So different. He could barely wrap his brain around it. 

“Tones?” Tony turned at the cautious question. His Rhodey was standing there - no braces. Just standing, all on his own, and Tony sank slowly to the floor, his back pressed hard against the cool glass. Rhodey jogged across the room, actually  _ jogged _ , and knelt in front of him. “Hey, man, talk to me. What's going through that big brain of yours?”

“You can  _ walk _ ,” Tony whispered, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. He valiantly blinked them away, but Rhodey saw them, and he frowned hard. Tony laughed, somewhat hysterically. “In - in my universe, everything is different. You - you fell. In the suit. Vision accidentally blew out your thrusters and you hit the ground and it paralyzed you from the waist down.” 

Rhodey looked stunned for a moment. Then he held out his arms and gestured for Tony to come closer. “Well, not in this universe. And you're still Tony, so come on. You really look like you need a hug, man.” Tony latched onto Rhodey's shoulders and dug his fingers into Rhodey's shirt, wholly unwilling to release him. He was shaking, he realized, as Rhodey rubbed his back gently. “Listen, man. Tones. It's - it's gonna be okay. We'll figure this out.”

“But what about Pepper?” Tony asked quietly. “And  _ Morgan _ ?” His insides clenched uncomfortably. “I - Rhodey, she's my daughter. I have to get back to her.” 

“And we'll get to work on that, soon,” Rhodey said, nodding his head. He sat back a little, but only enough to look at Tony and not enough so Tony actually had to let go of him. “Right now, I think you probably need to get something to eat. Coffee, too, huh?” 

“Decaf,” Tony sighed. “Can't have caffeine anymore.” He taps his chest, and Rhodey frowns sharply. “No Extremis. And I've only got a couple years left.”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said quietly. Tony had almost forgotten the kid was even in the room anymore. He looked devastated. “Please… please tell me you'll fix it. Before that happens. Right? I mean. You aren't going to leave um, Morgan, right? You aren't going to leave Morgan and Pepper without you, are you?”

Tony flashed Peter a wan smile. “Haven't quite decided yet, kid.” It isn't all that hard to admit to a kid that isn't from his universe, to a kid who, likely, won't see the results of his actions. Hopefully, anyway. “I've… I've lived long enough.”

“Bullshit,” Rhodey said, giving Tony a sharp shake. “Bull _ shit _ , Tones. Don't give me that. We sure as shit need Tony Stark in this universe and I know for damn certain that yours needs you too. And hell, even if it's only Pep and your girl, they need you more than anyone.”

“They really don't,” Tony sighed softly, looking away from Rhodey. “But I really just - I don't want to get into that, okay?” He let go of Rhodey and used the glass behind him to push himself to his feet. He was still a little amazed to watch Rhodey clamor to his feet under his own power - no braces or anything to help him. “Food, right? That sounded like a good idea.” 

Rhodey nodded, still appearing more than a little skeptical, but he didn't say anything that was on his mind. He led Tony out into the main portion of the penthouse where the smallish kitchen was, and Tony was surprised at how very different it appeared. 

There was the coffee maker he treasured, sure, but it was different, now. Updated. And the kitchen wasn't as sterile as it always had been before Morgan came along and he and Pepper actually began to use it. It looked lived in, with a tea towel draped over the oven door and a fancy mixer nearby, some canisters Tony didn't recognize full of things - probably flour and sugar, he thought. There were cookbooks and magnets on the fridge with more pictures of himself and Barnes, himself and Peter, Barnes and Rogers, Barnes and Romanov, Barnes and Barton… mostly, just a lot of Barnes, really. There was one where it looked like Barnes was crouched beside Peter on the floor of the workshop over a damn battle bot. He was smiling brightly at whatever Peter, who was sprawled out on the floor across from him, must have said at the time. 

“You, uh, well. Our Tony took most of these,” Peter said when he noticed Tony's attention on the photos. He took down the one with the battle bot and held it out. “There was a competition, just a small local one, and Bucky heard about it. He wanted to see if we could build one and enter the competition.” Peter smiled down at the picture. “We didn't let you - our you - help at all. We had so much fun building it. We even got third place!” Peter pointed at the top of the fridge where a small trophy and ribbon sat collecting dust. 

“Sounds like you two had fun,” Tony said quietly. 

“Well, I mean, yeah,” Peter said with a shrug. “It was great. You were harassing us about it the entire time. You got that picture right after you found the official rules for the tournament, and you'd just told us we could not, in fact, make our bot fly and drop tiny bombs on the other bots.” Peter gave him an impish grin. “You let us do it all on our own.”

Tony felt strange about this entire situation, but faced with such blatant evidence of how… happy and content everyone in this universe was, he found it was a little bit harder to hold a grudge. Not that he wasn't still worried, but things had obviously been resolved between this group for a long time now. 

“Dammit, Barnes,” Rhodey griped as he banged some cabinets open and shut a few times. “Man, this guy rearranges your damn cabinets just to fuck with me. I swear.” Rhodey sounded fondly exasperated rather than truly irritated. 

Tony sat on one of the bar stools at the island. “This is… surreal,” he said quietly. “In… in my universe… Rogers didn't tell me about Barnes killing my parents. I found out just a few years ago. Barnes was accused of blowing up the UN and killing King T'Chaka. He didn't, but, well. We didn't know that until later. This guy, Zemo, he used all of us. Made us fight each other. We fought at a damn airport. And then Barnes and Rogers ran off to Siberia to go take down some other Winter Soldiers. I got there, to help, and we found them all dead. Then Zemo played the security tape of Barnes killing my parents. I had to - had to watch that. And Rogers  _ knew _ . He knew, and he never told me. We fought. The three of us. Two super soldiers against just me in the suit. Rogers bashed the shield into my arc reactor.” He put his hand over his chest. There were no scars, thanks to Extremis, but, well. He almost wished there were. 

“Shit,” Rhodey said softly. 

Tony didn't mention Thanos. He couldn't bear it. He didn't want to tell Peter that he died in his arms, that he almost died trying to get back to Earth to fix everything. It was too much. So he kept silent about that. Maybe he could leave a message for the Tony of this universe to prepare him. 

“It was just me and you, honey bear,” Tony said with a tired, humorless smile. “And Vision, but he was fucking off to go see Wanda every other week anyway, so. Mostly just the two of us. Pepper and I finally worked our shit out. Eventually got married and had Morgan.” 

“I wasn't with you guys?” Peter asked quietly.

“Hell no,” Tony snorted. “You're just a kid, one, and two, you decided you wanted to stick to the little guys. I offered after you took down the Vulture.” Tony didn't mention the rest of that, with taking the suit and all the consequences. He didn't want the kid to freak out. 

Peter made a face. “Lame. Other me is  _ lame _ .” Tony chuckled softly. 

“Why aren't you in school, anyway, kid?” Tony asked, feeling tired. 

“It's spring break,” Peter answered brightly. “And Bucky and Miss Romanov are teaching me a lot of really cool hand-to-hand stuff. Not that I  _ need  _ it, but I might, one day, you know? So they want to make sure I'm prepared, just in case.”

Rhodey finally seemed to find everything he was looking for and dumped all his assembled ingredients on the island. “Come on, kid, get to chopping. I know you'll want some too as soon as you smell it.” Peter walked around the island and grabbed a knife to start on the peppers. 

“Sounds like things are pretty damn different,” Rhodey said casually. Too casually. “You holding a grudge against all of the original crew?”

“Well, I mean, Bruce and Thor were gone for most of that time,” Tony answered with an honest shrug. “The rest didn't exactly want much to do with me, not after I pushed for the Accords. Didn't matter that I had Ross arrested as soon as I could for everything he's ever done wrong in the history of ever, but whatever, right?” Tony shrugged like it didn't matter, but it still stung. 

“Thor isn't around,” Rhodey said slowly. “Last I heard, he was off exploring space. He was cagey about why. And Bruce left to go back to India a couple months ago. I'm pretty sure you could reach him if you really wanted to, though.”

The offer made Tony smile, but he shook his head. “No, that's okay,” he said. 

Rhodey nodded and finished cracking around a dozen eggs into a big bowl. “So, do want to just avoid everyone else while you're stuck here, or what?” Rhodey gave him a look. “Whatever this is, I doubt it's permanent. Strange is always going on about the multiverses intersecting and causing things to happen. We can get him over here, probably, but I doubt he'd be of much use. Even if he was, he probably wouldn't do anything. For being the Sorcerer Supreme, the guy really doesn't seem to do much.” Rhodey's flat look made Tony laugh. His Rhodey had said much the same thing, a time or five.

“I'm inclined to agree,” Tony said thoughtfully. “I suppose giving it twenty-four hours wouldn't kill me. Probably. And then, if nothing happens, we can get on trying to fix this.” Rhodey nodded as if that decided things entirely. Tony eyed him suspiciously. “What are you suggesting?”

“I think you should talk to the others,” Rhodey said with a shrug. He noticed the way Tony stiffened. “I'm not saying you have to. But, well. If we can't get you back by tomorrow, or if something happens and you're stuck here… I think it'd be a good idea to warm up to them, right?”

“I can go tell them what's going on?” Peter offered. “That way they know about the situation.” He made a face again. “Mr. Barton likes to try to scare you all the time, even if it never works. Extremis, you know?”

Tony nodded slightly, even if he didn't quite know, not really. He knew  _ of  _ Extremis. He knew what it looked like with Pepper and what it looked like in those guys Killian had sent to try to kill him. He didn't know what it would be like for him to have it. 

“What about the code words?” Tony asked quietly. He glanced at Rhodey and away again. 

“You solved that problem back when you still didn't like the guy,” Rhodey said simply. “You got BARF in your universe?” Tony nodded, a little stunned. “Our Tony built it for Bucky, then adjusted it for other uses. Used it for himself to help him find some closure with his parents’ murder.” 

“So the code words are gone,” Tony said quietly, a slight upward turn on the phrase so it almost sounded like a question. 

“Yeah,” Rhodey answered. “Have been for a while. Bucky is still working out some of his memories from his time as a marionette, but he remembers a lot. It fucks him up.”

“Mr. Stark is the reason he's an Avenger at all,” Peter piped up. “He said Bucky couldn't ever undo what he'd been forced to do, but now that he could make his own choices, he could try to help people, try to protect them.” 

Tony was quiet for a long time, just watching as Rhodey and Peter got the omelettes ready to go in a pan. Peter also insisted on toast and bacon, so he cooked that while Rhodey made the omelettes. He felt out of place here, even though it was  _ his  _ penthouse. But it wasn't, not really, was it? 

They ate together at the island, with Rhodey and Peter telling some of the more humorous stories they had about the tower's occupants. Tony could see it all so clearly, could imagine the Avengers the way they had been back before Ultron. That had been the best time for them, Tony thought, even if he'd never really fit in with the rest of the group the way this universe's Tony seemed to. 

He was jealous. He could admit that. 

After breakfast, Tony sent Rhodey and Peter away to go deal with the other Avengers. He took a nice long shower and raided his own - sort of? - closet for clean clothes. It was disheartening to find he'd gained weight compared to this universe's Tony, but he made due with some older, softer jeans and some layered shirts. 

And then he went down to the workshop after making sure it was empty. 

He spent several hours down there giving the other Tony a complete rundown on Thanos and everything they'd had to do to stop him and get his universe back to normal. It was damn hard for him to get through. He didn't manage without two separate panic attacks, but finishing at all was better than leaving anything out. He included every tiny detail he could recall. 

Rhodey finally came after him, and Tony took the time to walk Rhodey through everything as well. That was even harder, but it helped. Rhodey asked good questions, and Tony was able to fill in even more information in the huge data pack he was assembling for the other Tony. Rhodey looked badly shaken by the end of it, and Tony nearly cried when JARVIS ordered them a late lunch without being prompted.

It was mid-afternoon by the time they finished eating, and Rhodey decided they needed a break from all the Thanos nightmare fuel. Tony could admit, though, that he didn't want to deal with the others - not yet. It was too much and too difficult. Rhodey was finally beginning to understand why. They went back to the penthouse, instead, prepared to relax for a while, maybe watch a movie. 

However, when the elevator doors opened, they found Bucky standing in the living area looking guilty as sin. He took several steps back, to put more space between himself and Tony. “I'm sorry,” he said quickly. “I just - just wanted to get a few things. Didn't know you were coming up here. I'll leave.”

Tony sighed. “You don't have to.” He shrugged at the bewildered stare Bucky gave him and the skeptical look Rhodey shot him. “Look, this is clearly your home, too. I'm not going to force you to leave. That's shitty. Just… I'm not your Tony.”

“I know,” Bucky said quietly. 

“My issue isn't with you, anyway,” Tony said, a little too loud to be entirely genuine. “My problem, in my universe, is with Rogers. He's the one who lied to me. You - you didn't have a choice. I figured that one out pretty quickly, actually. I just never really spoke to the other Bucky.”

Bucky nodded mutely. Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Christ, Barnes, don't get your panties in a wad. That's Tony-speak for he forgives you. As much as he can, anyway.”

“Close,” Tony corrected. “It means there was nothing to forgive in the first place and I'm a jackass who blew off your arm.” He winced slightly at the wide-eyed look Bucky gave him. “Yeah, not my best move. To be fair, though, the other you was trying to rip the arc reactor out of my suit.” 

“Christ,” Rhodey sighed. Bucky looked like he was trying to swallow a grapefruit. “Sorry, Tones, but man, I need a drink to keep dealing with your weirdness.”

“I don't blame you,” Tony said with a shrug. “I'd drink too if I could.” He followed Rhodey over to the bar that was still a part of the decor in this universe. “It's less about not wanting to fall off the wagon these days and more about how much even one more drink is probably going to spell the end to my liver.”

“I did warn you,” Rhodey griped. He grabbed one of the better bottles from the shelf and a glass. “I warned you, hundreds of times. Thousands. But did you listen? No. You were smarter than me. You knew better than me.” Rhodey rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. “Stupid genius.”

Barnes shifted uncomfortably where he was standing, more or less, near the center of the room. Tony flapped a hand at him. “Go or stay, I don't care. But don't just stand there looking sad and pathetic.” 

Those words seemed to resonate with Barnes, for some reason. He looked like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Tony didn't quite get it, but he wasn't going to ask, either. Rhodey had a complicated look, too. 

“The other you said the same thing to Barnes the first time he showed up in the workshop,” Rhodey explained. “Just. Seemed odd that you'd say it now, too.” 

It was odd. Tony figured it probably had more to do with that multiverse shit. He shrugged and tried to pretend it had no effect on him, but it did. What did that say about him, that he would say the exact same thing as his other self at such a time, in such circumstances? He didn't like to try and puzzle it out. Was it proof that he was indeed the same in every universe, or was it proof that the universe would force simultaneous occurrences just because it could? In the end, he supposed it didn't really matter. Why would it?

“So,” Rhodey said casually, taking his drink with him and leading them to the sofa. “Tell me about this kid of yours.”

Tony smiled a little wistfully. “Her name is Morgan. She's just over a year old. Smart little shit, too, even for only a year old.” He wished he had his phone so he could show Rhodey a picture. His smile faltered and he picked at a callus on his finger. “I don't… do much with her. Not like I should.”

“Why?” Rhodey asked, not accusing. 

Tony couldn't look at him to see his expression. “I'm afraid,” he said simply. “Afraid to hurt her, afraid she'll get too close and then I'll die and she'll hate me, afraid I'll wind up like Howard one day. Just afraid.” 

“You can't live like that, Tones,” Rhodey sighed. “What happened to being a futurist, huh? She ain't gonna remember shit from this age. You know that. But she will resent you when she grows up if you're afraid to get near her.” Tony could feel Rhodey shrug beside him. 

Tony knew that. He did. But that didn't stop the overwhelming fear. He couldn't even bear to look up at the open sky these days, most of the time, without seeing things that weren't there, without having gruesome flashbacks that tormented him. It wasn't just the wormhole anymore. It was being crushed by a moon. It was looking through that wormhole and  _ knowing  _ what was on the other side. It was seeing Thanos kill everyone. It was watching Pepper and Morgan and Peter and Rhodey turn to dust before his eyes. 

He wanted as much time as he could get with Morgan. But was it worth it, in the end, if he would have to watch her die, if he would only bring her more pain by her mere association with him? He wasn't so sure. 

“I know what it feels like to think you're ruining someone just by being close to them.” Tony looked up and over, and he found Bucky standing by the island in the kitchen area, his flesh hand rubbing over the edge of the counter. 

“Barnes,” Rhodey sighed, not like he didn't think his thoughts weren't… true, necessarily, but that he'd spoken to Bucky about feeling that way before. 

Bucky gave Rhodey a sharp look. “He needs to hear it, do you think?” Rhodey just rolled his eyes and took a longer drink from his glass. Bucky glanced at Tony, then away again. “I've killed a lot of people. More than I can actually remember, if I'm honest. More than I will ever  _ be able  _ to remember, because what so many people tend to forget is… I was a sniper in World War II. I killed a lot of men back then, too. I'll never know who they were. And my hands aren't stained red with blood. I'm literally drowning in it.”

Bucky paused for a moment to breathe. Rhodey looked distinctly uncomfortable with the subject. Tony was curious, though. He didn't know the Barnes of his universe, but if  _ he  _ was so similar in both his own universe and this one, then it stood to reason that everyone else would be as well. Peter and Rhodey certainly were. It wasn't quite the confession he'd ever get from the Barnes of his universe, but it was a close second, wasn't it? And maybe… maybe it would help, in a way. 

“I hated being here for a long time. I tried to leave, more than once, but Steve and Sam, Nat and Clint, you - the other you, my version of Tony - everyone would find me and ask me to come back. Ask, not force. I'm not sure why it kept working, every time. I'm not sure why I agreed to come back and stay that final time. There isn't any day that I don't wake up and make the conscious decision to stay, to face what I've done, to make an effort to be better than what HYDRA made me. Some days, it is nearly impossible. Other days, it's barely even a choice because I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Thankfully, I get a lot more of the better days than the awful ones.

“But, the thing is. I always feel like everything I touch is stained with what I've done. I leave behind this… smear of blood. Though only I can see it. Natasha says she feels the same, so this isn't me being crazy. It lingers. It corrupts. What we've done can't ever be taken back. But we try to be better than we were before, all of us. And that's all we can do.”

Bucky looked at Tony, and he looked… old. Exhausted. “You can't scrub out the stains you've already left behind. But you can stop leaving more. Natasha says she's trying to clear out the red in her ledger, right?” Tony only nodded. “It's more like trying to balance the books. We're just… badly in the red. And we might never be in the black, but that doesn't mean we get to stop trying. Bruce said it like this, once. He said, even if we couldn't balance our own books, we could help keep other books from going into the red at all, to keep them so far in the black that nothing they could ever do would put them in the red. And that's what we're doing now. We help Peter and Harley, we help Wanda and Pietro. We help all those other kids you keep finding and taking in off the damn streets, and people like us? People like me and Natasha, you, Clint, Frank, Matt, hell, even Steve and Rhodes, we… we keep all the red to ourselves, and it still balances, somewhere, doesn't it?”

Maybe.

Just maybe. 

It was heavy for late afternoon conversation, though, and Bucky excused himself shortly after. Tony didn't ask where he was going. He and Rhodey watched movies and ate more take out and popcorn, they talked all through their favorites, and Tony relaxed for the first time in a very long time. 

He went to bed alone that night, retiring to his own bed - his and Bucky's technically, though Bucky only came back for a change of clothes and to say he’d crash on Steve's couch for the night, that he'd come up in the morning to make coffee if Tony wanted. Tony agreed without questioning why. 

As he tried to get to sleep, he thought more about what Bucky had said earlier. Maybe Morgan didn't need him now. Maybe Peter and Harley didn't need him now. Maybe Wanda's hands were too stained with blood, like his own, to ever balance her own books. But he could help, couldn't he? Didn't he sort of owe her that? He might not have killed her parents, but it was his bomb, and he'd always taken responsibility before. 

Even if he could never fully protect Pepper and Morgan from all he'd done, he could at least make sure they never had to get their own hands dirty. Not more than they already had, at least, as with Pepper. She'd killed Stane and Killian, after all. But Morgan was innocent, and even if she would grow up permanently marked by all Tony had done in this life, maybe he could protect her from something even worse. Pepper, too. 

He owed them that.

* * *

 

When Tony woke, he shifted before opening his eyes. These were  _ not _ sateen sheets. His eyes flew open, and the room was bathed in soft, warm sunlight. He sat up just as Pepper came into the room with Morgan in her arms. He smiled, big and fucking  _ grateful  _ to see them again. 

“So, I take it you went somewhere?” Pepper asked as she settled on the bed after handing over Morgan. Tony nodded and kissed Morgan's hair, breathed in the lavender smell he found comforting. “We had a visitor, too. A different Tony. He absolutely adored Morgan.”

“Why, Mrs. Stark, are you saying what I think you're saying?” He gasped dramatically, but he threw a wink at her all the same. 

Pepper leaned close and kissed him, slow and soft and sweet. “Not at all, Mr. Stark, but I will say this. You missed Morgan's first word, and I'm just a teensy bit disappointed.” She grinned and snapped her fingers, and FRIDAY threw the video up on the windows for them. Tony laughed, absolutely tickled, at Morgan screaming ‘Hap’ over and over. 

“I had… an interesting time,” he admitted. “I think there's someone I need to go talk to, though.”

“Barnes?” Pepper guessed with a smile. Tony opened his mouth to question her. “The other Tony and I had a rather enlightening conversation. But you know, Tony? I think it might be good for you. Go see him. Go talk to the others, too. And take Morgan. She needs to meet them.” 

Tony was about to open his mouth to protest, citing how very dangerous that would be, but then he closed it. “I will. But I think there's something else I need to do, first. Something even more important.” 

Pepper teared up instantly. “Tony, are you sure? You aren't just - saying that, right? You aren't doing this because I want you to take Morgan with you? Because you don't, you absolutely do  _ not  _ have -”

“Pep,” Tony said with a small smile. “Light of my life. My sun and stars.” She rolled her eyes at the  _ Game of Thrones _ reference. “It's just time. I finally decided it was time.”

She kissed him again, until Morgan started slapping them both with her drool-wet hand, and Tony pretended to munch on it until she shrieked in joy. He grinned at Pepper and bounced Morgan in his lap. 

He had to stick around. 


End file.
